Seven Ways to Say You're Really Sorry
As someone who has long sought to offer sincere apologies to loved ones, I turned to experts for advice on how to say “I'm sorry” better. 1- Acknowledge that what you did was wrong. The first step is to offer an apology, according to Dr. Elizabeth M. Minnie, here is the explanation of the error. The person who committed the mistake must acknowledge this and clarify his understanding of how he caused harm to another person. She said: “The reason for this step is that saying the word ‘sorry’ without conveying that you understood why the words or actions were harsh has a lesser impact on the listener.” 2- Be honest. This seems like a given, but we live in a culture where superficial apologies and apologies that are not apologies are the norm among politicians and public figures. They often say something like, “I’m sorry if I hurt you,” or “I’m sorry, but... . . However, according to New York-based psychotherapist Kimberly Hershenson, a sincere and humble apology does not attempt to justify the wrongdoing. Instead, it “shows that you realize your hurtful actions, take responsibility, and are ready to change.” 3- Ask for forgiveness When you ask for forgiveness, you give the other person a chance to respond and answer. Give them time. Even if they never change their minds, it's an important gesture to put the ball back in their court. “It gives them the opportunity to either accept or reject the apology,” says mental health and relationship expert Kiba Richmond-Green. 4- Do not view an apology as a win or a loss: During the practice of her work, Caroline Cooley, a psychotherapist specializing in marriage and family affairs, has seen many couples who say that they only want to win or to be right in the dispute, but saying the word “I’m sorry” when... You have crossed the line, not the same as saying, “You are absolutely right in this position.” Instead, Cawley says, apologizing simply means that “you place more value on the relationship than your ego.” H . Do not blame them for this most difficult obstacle to overcome in my apology; Because I'm usually eager to point out how someone provoked me to act in a certain way, according to relationship therapist Rhonda Merad, “Saying I wouldn't have done that if you hadn't done that first” sends the message that you don't take responsibility for your actions. In other words, blaming them too heavily invalidates your apology. 6- Be prepared to apologize several times. Sometimes one word “sorry” is not enough. The psychotherapist specializing in relationships, Shlomo Slatkin, recommends asking for forgiveness repeatedly and providing reassurance to loved ones, especially for serious mistakes. He says: “To apologize and expect the waters to return to their normal course because you said, ‘I am sorry’ is... “Unrealistic.” These apologies will help alleviate the anger that the other may feel and help rebuild trust. - Tell them how you will change. Most of us can agree that there is no point in apologizing if nothing changes after it. This is why it is very important to follow up with “how you plan to change your behavior to avoid this problem in the future.” Dr. Jessie Matthews says that the most important thing is Apologizing says you have to pursue change, it's the only way the other person will know that you're truly sorry. Apologies will never be easy, but hopefully these tips will make it better.
From the book 44 Amazing by: Jane Kim
